I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
