hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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