He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize