hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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