Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
