Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
