Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
