he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
