I want to make a zoo with you.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Randomize
