Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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