Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize