We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
