never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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