I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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