this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
