I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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