She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
