i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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