More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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