New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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