ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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