god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
