Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
