If i come over, it means nothing
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
