I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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