i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize