she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
