so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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