Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
