You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
