I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
