Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
bring money and cleavage
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
