Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
