Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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