The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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