I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
