Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she smelled like a LAN party
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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