somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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