You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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