doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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