Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
