Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
