I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
