What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
