Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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