I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
