remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
