Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
