I showed him my bush... on skype.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
ugly people sure do ruin things
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
