just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
