i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
is it fun? or sober?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
