You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I die, sorry about rent.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
