Moan for me like Helen Keller
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
