Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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