'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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