Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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