I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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