On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize