If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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