Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
