I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
